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Asking with Assurance

  • Pastor Josh Smith
When life feels overwhelming and relationships get messy, where do you turn first? We often exhaust every other option before desperately turning to God. What if the answer to navigating every struggle, transition, and conflict isn’t found in our own strength, but in continually asking for the one gift our Heavenly Father loves to give?

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Asking with Assurance

Message Summary
When life feels overwhelming and relationships get messy, where do you turn first? We often exhaust every other option before desperately turning to God. What if the answer to navigating every struggle, transition, and conflict isn’t found in our own strength, but in continually asking for the one gift our Heavenly Father loves to give?
Key Scripture
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
Matthew 7:7-11
Additional Scriptures

5 Day Devotional

Day 1

Day 1: Keep Asking, Keep Seeking, Keep Knocking

Scripture: Matthew 7:7-11

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Devotional

Jesus doesn’t just say “ask once and move on.” He says keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking. This persistent language reveals something profound about our relationship with God—He wants us to return to Him again and again, not because He’s hard of hearing, but because the act of asking itself shapes our hearts.

In our instant-access culture, we’ve grown accustomed to getting what we need immediately. Google answers our questions in milliseconds. Amazon delivers to our doorstep in hours. But this convenience has made us impatient with God’s timing and forgetful of our need for Him. We’re more likely to search AI for answers than to seek the Holy Spirit for wisdom.

The persistence Jesus calls for is actually a litmus test of our sincerity. If you stop asking after three attempts, perhaps it wasn’t that important after all. But when we keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking, we’re demonstrating that our need is real and our dependence on God is genuine. And here’s the beautiful promise: our Heavenly Father knows how to give good gifts. He won’t give you a stone when you ask for bread. He won’t bait and switch. He will respond with perfect accuracy to what you truly need.

Response Questions

  1. What do you tend to turn to first when you need answers or help—Google, friends, your own resources, or God? What does this reveal about where you place your trust?
  2. Think about something you prayed for a few times but then stopped. What made you stop asking? Was it lack of faith, changing priorities, or something else?
  3. Jesus promises that everyone who asks receives, seeks finds, and knocks has doors opened. How does this promise challenge or comfort you in your current season of life?

Prayer Points

  • Ask God to create in you a greater desperation for His presence that surpasses your desire for quick, easy answers from other sources.
  • Pray for persistence in your prayer life, especially in areas where you’ve grown weary or given up asking.

Day 2

Day 2: The Gift We Really Need

Scripture: Luke 11:9-13

“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

Devotional

Notice the difference between Matthew’s account and Luke’s? Matthew says God gives “good gifts,” while Luke specifically identifies that gift as “the Holy Spirit.” These aren’t contradictory—they’re complementary. The Holy Spirit is the good gift that our Heavenly Father loves to give.

We often come to God with a shopping list: fix this relationship, provide this job, heal this body, change this circumstance. And while God cares about all these things, His best gift isn’t circumstantial change—it’s His very presence with us through the Holy Spirit. Why? Because the Holy Spirit is perfectly accurate to every situation we face. He doesn’t just help us from the outside; He transforms us from the inside.

We have very little control over what happens in the world around us—people acting poorly, random difficulties, disappointing outcomes. But how we respond to the brokenness “out there” is determined by what the Holy Spirit is doing “in here,” in our hearts. The Holy Spirit helps us know how to behave, how to perceive, how to walk through chaos with peace. This is the gift we need most, and it’s the gift God most loves to give.

The older we get, the more intense life becomes. New chapters bring new tears, new challenges, new desperations. Which means the older we get, the more desperate for the Holy Spirit we should become. As one hundred-year-old prayer warrior said: “Be filled with the Spirit and relax.”

Response Questions

  1. When you pray, do you focus more on asking God to change your circumstances or asking Him to fill you with His Spirit for your circumstances? Why?
  2. Reflect on a difficult season you walked through. How did the Holy Spirit’s presence sustain you in ways that circumstantial change couldn’t have?
  3. What would it look like to start each day by specifically asking your Heavenly Father to fill you afresh with the Holy Spirit?

Prayer Points

  • Thank God that His best gift isn’t temporary relief but His eternal presence through the Holy Spirit.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to work inside your heart today, transforming how you see and respond to the challenges around you.

Day 3

Day 3: Don’t Devour One Another

Scripture: Galatians 5:13-18

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another. So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are led by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.”

Devotional

Paul’s warning to the Galatians is startling: if you keep biting and devouring one another, you’ll destroy each other. “Biting” means to wound at the soul level, to attack someone’s character. “Devouring” means to ruin, to consume. “Destroying” literally means to use someone up until they’re an empty shell.

Have you ever seen someone so worn down by harsh judgments that they’re walking around like a hollow version of themselves? They’ve been “used up” by a community that judged their motives, concluded the worst about their character, and attacked them relationally. Is this what we want to do to each other in the family of God?

Our sinful nature craves to be right in arguments. We want to preserve our image and our integrity, even if it costs someone else theirs. We build our case against people, writing mental essays about their faults while ignoring the planks in our own eyes. But this isn’t the way of the Spirit.

Paul’s solution is simple but profound: let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. There’s something almost passive about that word “let”—like opening a door and allowing someone in. Are we that invitational with the Holy Spirit in the twists and turns of our relationships? When things feel “funky” with someone, do we invite the Holy Spirit to address our own planks before we start building our case against their specks?

Response Questions

  1. Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone “biting and devouring” you with harsh judgments? How did it affect you? Have you done this to others?
  2. When conflict arises, what’s your first instinct—to build your case and defend yourself, or to invite the Holy Spirit to examine your own heart first?
  3. What would change in your most difficult relationship if you genuinely “let the Holy Spirit guide” your responses instead of following your sinful nature’s cravings?

Prayer Points

  • Confess any ways you’ve “bitten and devoured” others through harsh judgments, and ask God to help you build others up instead.
  • Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide a specific relationship where things feel “funky” or strained, asking Him to reveal any planks in your own eye first.

Day 4

Day 4: The Fruit of the Spirit in Relationships

Scripture: Galatians 5:22-26

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”

Devotional

The fruit of the Spirit isn’t just a list of nice qualities to develop individually. These are fundamentally relational virtues—they’re worked out in community, in the context of how we treat one another.

Read it this way: The Holy Spirit works love toward one another, joy with one another, peace with one another, patience toward one another, kindness toward one another, goodness toward one another, faithfulness to one another, gentleness toward one another, and self-control with and toward one another.

Have you ever said something you regretted in the heat of a conversation? That’s a lack of Spirit-produced self-control. Ever felt impatient with someone’s struggles or growth? That reveals a need for Spirit-produced patience. These fruit aren’t theoretical—they’re tested and proven in real relationships with real people who sometimes frustrate us, disappoint us, or misunderstand us.

Here’s the beautiful mystery: we can’t practice kindness unless there’s a need for kindness to be displayed. We can’t develop patience unless we’re in situations that require patience. The Holy Spirit produces this fruit in the context of community, not in isolation. This is why we need each other. This is why we can’t do the Christian life alone.

Paul reminds us that those who belong to Christ have crucified the old passions and desires—anger, self-justification, the need to be right, the desire to preserve our image at all costs. These things should be dead. But we love resurrecting what shouldn’t be resurrected. We go back to the cross, unpin those old desires, and say, “Come on, I want you to live again, because that felt right.”

But we’re not called to live according to our feelings. We’re called to live like Christ, led by the Spirit.

Response Questions

  1. Which fruit of the Spirit do you find hardest to practice in your most challenging relationships? What does this reveal about where you need the Holy Spirit’s work most?
  2. Think of a relationship where you’ve experienced genuine Spirit-produced fruit—maybe unexpected patience, undeserved kindness, or faithful commitment. How did that impact the relationship?
  3. What “old passions and desires” (anger, self-justification, image-preservation) do you keep “unpinning from the cross” and allowing to live again? What would it look like to leave them crucified?

Prayer Points

  • Ask the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in a specific relationship where you’ve been struggling—name which fruit you need most (patience, kindness, self-control, etc.).
  • Pray for the courage to leave your old patterns of relating crucified at the cross, and for the power to walk in newness of life through the Spirit.

Day 5

Day 5: Faithful to One Another

Scripture: Matthew 7:7-12

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”

Devotional

Notice how Jesus connects persistent prayer for the Holy Spirit directly to the Golden Rule: “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” This isn’t coincidental. The entire conversation about asking, seeking, and knocking is in a relational context. We need the Holy Spirit’s power to love others well.

We’re going to continue to butt heads with one another. That’s inevitable in community. But simultaneously, we should be expectant of the Holy Spirit filling each of us, showing up as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in those very conflicts.

One of the greatest barriers to deep community is our struggle to trust one another. We’re cordial and relational to an extent, but only to a point that doesn’t cost us vulnerability. Sunday mornings are safe because we can smile, ask “How was your week?” and keep things surface-level. But deeper community—the kind that happens in small groups, in authentic friendships, in committed relationships—requires faithfulness.

Faithfulness means “I’m going to stick by your side even when I know the messy parts of your story.” It means “I won’t use your vulnerability against you.” It means “I’m committed to your growth, not your destruction.” And this kind of faithfulness doesn’t come naturally—it comes from the Holy Spirit.

As we continue to follow Jesus and see one another more deeply, we must commit to be a body of believers who will remain faithful to one another. Why does all this matter? Because one day, we’re going to be in heaven together—passing by King David and seeing one another face to face for eternity. If we’re reluctant to trust and be faithful to one another here, what business do we have being in heaven together?

Let’s practice trusting and being faithful to one another here. Let’s keep asking for the Holy Spirit to fill us. Let’s keep seeking His wisdom for our relationships. Let’s keep knocking on heaven’s door for the power to love like Jesus loves.

Response Questions

  1. On a scale of 1-10, how deeply do you trust other believers with the messy parts of your story? What keeps you from going deeper in vulnerability and trust?
  2. Is there a relationship where you need to be more faithful—to stick by someone’s side, to follow through on commitment, to rebuild broken trust? What’s one step you can take this week?
  3. How does knowing you’ll spend eternity with other believers change the way you approach difficult relationships now? Does it motivate you to invest more deeply in community?

Prayer Points

  • Ask God to help you be a person of faithfulness—someone others can trust with their vulnerability, someone who builds up rather than tears down.
  • Pray specifically for your faith community (your church, your small group, your Christian friends) that you would practice deeper trust, greater faithfulness, and Spirit-led love toward one another.

GrowGroup Guide

A weekly guide to carry the conversation beyond Sunday morning.

Ask, Seek, Knock: Desperate for the Spirit

Opening Prayer (2-3 minutes)

Invite the Holy Spirit to be present in your gathering. Ask God to help your group be open, vulnerable, and receptive to what He wants to speak tonight.

Ice Breaker (5-7 minutes)

Question: What’s something you’ve searched desperately for recently—whether it was your phone, keys, or something more significant? How did you feel when you finally found it?

This helps ease into the topic of asking, seeking, and knocking with persistence.

Discussion Questions

1. The Challenge of Asking (10 minutes)

Question: The pastor mentioned that we live in a culture where we can quickly get what we need—whether through Amazon, Google, or AI. How does this instant-access culture affect our prayer life and our desperation for God?

Context from Sermon: The pastor noted that Jesus says “keep on asking,” which implies persistence. He challenged the group by asking, “I wonder how many of us search AI more than seeking out the Holy Spirit. I wonder how many of us knock on the doors of the AI generated stuff on Google than what we do knocking on the presence of Jesus.”

Leader Tip: Let people honestly share about their tendency to turn to quick fixes before prayer. This isn’t about condemnation but awareness.

2. The Gift We’re Really Asking For (10 minutes)

Question: Matthew says God gives “good gifts” while Luke’s version says God gives “the Holy Spirit” to those who ask. Why is it significant that these are the same thing? What does this tell us about what we really need?

Context from Sermon: The pastor explained: “Holy Spirit poured out over the believers is God’s gift to Jesus followers. So it’s synonymous… the gift that God is going to pour out all the time is the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Why? Because the Holy Spirit is accurate to our situations at all times.”

Leader Tip: Help the group see that we often ask for circumstances to change, but God’s best gift is His presence to empower us through the circumstances.

3. Holy Spirit’s Work Inside Us (10 minutes)

Question: The pastor said, “We have very little control of what happens out here [in our circumstances]. But how we respond to the brokenness out there, what takes place within our heart…” How have you experienced the Holy Spirit changing you internally even when external circumstances didn’t change?

Context from Sermon: The pastor emphasized: “The presence of the Holy Spirit helps us know how to behave, helps us know how to see and perceive and walk through things… The only way that we manage and the only way that we walk through keeping our sanity and maintaining a sharpness of mind is the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit.”

Leader Tip: Invite people to share specific examples. This builds faith when we hear how God has been at work in each other’s lives.

4. Biting and Devouring in Community (12 minutes)

Question: Paul warns the Galatians about “biting and devouring one another.” What does this look like in real life—in families, churches, or friendships? Have you seen (or been part of) relationships where people were “used up” by harsh judgments?

Context from Sermon: The pastor defined these terms: “Biting means to lacerate, to wound at the level of the soul, you are attacking character. And devouring, that means ruin… that word destroying means use up. Have you ever seen somebody so worn down by being judged by others that they’re just walking shells?”

Leader Tip: This may be tender territory. Create a safe space for honesty. Remind the group we’ve all been on both sides of this—judging and being judged.

5. The Fruit of the Spirit in Relationships (10 minutes)

Question: Read Galatians 5:22-23 together. The pastor reframed these not just as individual virtues but as relational qualities: “love toward one another, joy with one another, peace with one another, patience toward one another…” Which of these fruit do you find hardest to practice in difficult relationships?

Context from Sermon: The pastor emphasized: “The evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work is where we are good towards one another, we are faithful to one another, gentle towards one another, and where we have self control with and toward one another.”

Leader Tip: Keep this practical. You might ask: “Which relationship right now needs more Holy Spirit fruit from you?”

6. Plank Before Speck (10 minutes)

Question: The pastor said, “When things feel funky relationally with somebody, that is not your time to sit down and write your essay about them… when things feel off, that’s when you are to engage. But before you engage, you better engage in seeking and asking and knocking for the Holy Spirit to fill you.” Why is it so tempting to build our case against someone rather than first asking the Holy Spirit to reveal our own planks?

Context from Sermon: The pastor warned: “We want to build our case, preserve our image towards one another… when things feel funky, that is not your time to sit down and write your essay about them and slather their name in blood. No, when things feel funky, that’s when you are to engage. But before you engage, you better engage in seeking and asking and knocking for the Holy Spirit to fill you so that you see and you feel about the situation accurately.”

Leader Tip: This is convicting for everyone. Share vulnerably about a time you had to examine your own plank first.

7. Trust and Faithfulness (10 minutes)

Question: The pastor identified that we often struggle in community because “we struggle trusting one another.” He said, “We’re cordial and we’re relational to an extent that it doesn’t cost vulnerability.” What keeps us from going deeper in trust with other believers? What would it look like to be more faithful to one another?

Context from Sermon: The pastor challenged: “My heart would be that every single body that calls Grow Point home would be in a group so that you would experience a deeper depth of belonging where you are known and accepted… As we continue to follow Jesus and as we continue to learn and see one another more deeply, we commit to be a body of believers who will remain faithful to one another.”

Leader Tip: This is your opportunity as a leader to reinforce the safety and faithfulness of your group. Remind people that this small group is a place to practice deeper trust.

Personal Reflection & Application (8 minutes)

Invitation: Take 2-3 minutes of silence. Ask the Holy Spirit the same questions from the sermon’s Grow Card:

  • What is the Holy Spirit speaking to you right now?
  • What’s going on in life right now that you are desperate for the Holy Spirit to show up?

After the silence, invite people to share (only if they’re comfortable):

  • One thing the Holy Spirit highlighted
  • One relationship where they need to practice Spirit-led fruit
  • One area where they need to keep asking, seeking, knocking

Closing Prayer (5 minutes)

Leader: The pastor prayed: “Help us to slow down, to close our mouth, open our ear and put Velcro on our butts so we sit still long enough to hear you, to be with you.”

Pray together:

  • For a greater desperation for the Holy Spirit in daily life
  • For the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in your relationships with one another
  • For specific needs that were shared tonight
  • That your group would be a place of faithfulness, trust, and Spirit-led community

Family Table Talk

A weekly practice you can do beyond Sunday morning.

📖 Scripture

Matthew 7:11

❓Family Question

Why can we ask God boldly for what we need?

💬 Parent Prompt:

Talk about how parents give good gifts. Ask: “How does knowing God is good change how we pray?”

Weekly Practice

A weekly practice you can do beyond Sunday morning.

Challenge: Ask Boldly for One Thing

The Challenge: Ask God for one specific thing you’ve avoided asking for.

Concrete Action:

  1. Write it down
  2. Ask daily for 5 days
  3. Trust God with timing, not worthiness